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This is the last episode :
For those of you reading this as your first articles I
would suggest you go back to the first part as its a continuation from the
prior episodes.
Here goes my story ……
Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby,
infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and
bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to
use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has
no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on
his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none
of that matters to me anymore. It was sometime towards
the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because
of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did
not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and
ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept
wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we
reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite.
Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind:
In my lifetime, who else would
love me as much as he did?
He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go
in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction
pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes
tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby
looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I
cried out for him in pain… He smiled, but without
opening the tired eyes of his… I had thought that I would never shed any tear
for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my
body at that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had
liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he
managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had
cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me
saying: “Prepare for his funeral.”
I disregarded the nurse’s objection and rushed home, I
went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hit me.
Hubby’s cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had
thought that… the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our
son: “Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you
before I fall, is my biggest wish now… I know that in your life, you will
have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you
throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has
that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and
problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these
problems, you can refer to daddy’s suggestion….
Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as
if I have
accompanied you through life journey. To be honest,
daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one
who loves you most and also the one who loves me most…” From play school to
primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with
questions of love, everything big and small was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me:
“My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive
me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness,
because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our
baby…My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would
smile, thank you for loving me…These presents, I’m afraid I cannot give them
to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every
year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging… “
Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I
brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: “Open your eyes and
smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms…” He
struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his
arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the
camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly
rolled down my face…. A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me
the most in this world is gone forever…”Cruel misunderstandings one after
another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our original intend of
having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years
with us went terribly wrong as destiny’s secret is finally revealed at a
price, every thing became too late.”……….
by Portia
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Tuesday, 6 March 2012
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